How Covid-19 liberated me from the prison of perfection

Just as the pandemic was shutting down New York City on March 13, 2020, my largest client informed me that they were canceling all of my in-person learning events for the rest of the year. There went a major chunk of my income.

FEAR hit me. In addition to potentially losing my regular coaching work with individuals and corporations, I thought about finally publishing my second book, The Productive Perfectionist, which I have been working on for five long years. I realized that publication might be delayed once again!

When I placed a panicked call to my publishing consultant, he suggested that I write an eBook using the ideas from The Productive Perfectionist. He said, “Forget perfection, make it quick and get it done now!” 

As a self-described “perfectionist in recovery,” my identity is tied to doing everything well. That means I take my time and rarely get things done quickly. Now, he urged me to speed up.

The thought gave me anxiety and my stomach started to grumble! While the 2008 recession was rough, I was able to reinvent myself for a year, then return to my coaching and training business. But this pandemic has no end in sight—the economy is at a standstill and heading south.

Not sure what to do, I sought inspiration from friends, mentors, and books.

In Other Words grabbed my attention. I bought this book last fall after hearing Jhumpa Lahiri, the author and Pulitzer Prize-winner, speak about her memoir of moving to Italy after years of studying Italian. Everyone told her she was crazy to leave the country, since she was a highly successful writer. But she wanted to grow. She felt that putting herself in a place where she didn’t speak the language fluently would be an exercise in humility and imperfection.

This quote jumped out at me:  

“Why as an adult, as a writer, am I interested in this new relationship with imperfection? What does it offer me?  Imperfection inspires invention, imagination, creativity. It stimulates. The more I feel imperfect, the more I feel alive.” 

I read this quote repeatedly and placed it on a bulletin board to inspire me every day. I thought, “What if this pandemic is my opportunity to make peace with imperfection? Not to lower my standards, but to really live differently.”

I took the opportunity to view this pandemic as a sabbatical from perfectionism and all the anxiety that comes with it.

Everyone seemed lost.

Experimentation and imperfection are going to be the “new normal.” I’ve struggled with perfectionism for decades, but I have never actually embraced imperfection. With this vision in mind, I thought, ok, now what? 

I decided to take my consultant’s advice. I worked on my eBook and invited a small group of fellow perfectionists to join me in this experiment. I offered teachings and support on staying SANE and thriving during this pandemic.

Much to my surprise, twenty people signed up, and we had core of eight to ten on each of the four 75-minute sessions. I felt as if I was winging it and was not sure if the ideas would resonate or have impact. My goal was to create a program to empower people to navigate through untested waters. Again, much to my delight, the group encouraged each other (and me!) to take tiny steps, be compassionate, and even to take bigger risks or attempt things they didn’t think possible.

I am amazed that I wrote and published my book in under six months, something I thought would be impossible.

Instead of focusing on negative self-judgment, I am realizing that imperfection is liberating and makes new things possible.