Why Finding Joy in a Busy Life is Key!
"We need to struggle. We need to organize. And we need to dance." This is how Debora Spar, the president of Barnard College, concludes her book on women and perfectionism - with a recommendation to add joy to the to-do list. She cites that somehow joy fell out of the equation given the multitude of choices most women have today. This suggestion resonates with me especially given that we are in the holiday season, which is supposed to be full of joy - but can any of us it really find it? Let me share a few thoughts on how to weave it into your life and relish it.First, let's define it. Joy is a key emotion that can be related to or independent of events. Joy can be cultivated when you celebrate certain situations such as an accomplishment, or you can just choose to celebrate life. Why is it so critical to intertwine joy into your life?Two key reasons:
Joy can reduce stress: Research shows that just spending five minutes a day in appreciation lowers blood pressure and cortisol (the stress hormone), boosts the immune system, and elevates serotonin levels for up to 10 hours. This means you will feel better if you consistently take five minutes a day to express gratitude to your spouse for taking out the trash, your employee for getting a new client, or for just appreciating the gorgeous day, good friends, and life you have.
Joy can increase the odds that you will perform better: If you spend more time feeling joy, you will have less room for worry, guilt, or other negative emotions. There is extensive research on athletes that shows how the most successful have rituals which help them let go of mistakes and allow them to enjoy the act of playing that sport. The recent winner of the US Open tennis tournament, Marin Cilic, thanked his coach for reaffirming his joy in tennis again, which he credits for helping him win his first Grand Slam tournament.
Here are a few of my simple ideas for how you can begin to incorporate joy into your life. Martha Beck wrote an excellent book calledThe Joy Dietand she shares many additional ways to integrate this positive emotion.
Enjoy the activities of the holidays.Select one or two activities that you enjoy, which will become your unique rituals, and try to eliminate what you don't enjoy. This could involve limiting the number of holiday greetings and presents you send out, having a holiday tree gathering, and looking at the festive windows - which is one of my favorite things to do in New York City. Also, enjoy the simple activities of the holiday season such as the writing of holiday cards or holiday shopping. What helps me is to really appreciate those friends and feel them with you when you are writing your cards or crafting an email or Facebook greeting.
Take the time to celebrate small and big victories. This could mean an anniversary, birthday, or an accomplishment. One of my mentors, Jean Otte, the founder of Women Unlimited (WUI), makes a point of sending notes on birthdays and celebrating anniversaries, which includes the recent 20-year hallmark that WUI has achieved!
Take the time to participate in an activity every day and each week,just for the pure enjoyment. On a daily basis, this could include activities such as having a cup of tea, taking a 10 minute walk, or calling a friend. On a weekly basis, this could include playing a sport you enjoy such as my favorite (tennis) or going to the movies with friends.
Make time to do nothing, mediate or get quiet. This is the first habit that Martha Beck recommends in The Joy Diet, beginning with 10 minutes a day. I love this idea as I find that most people don't take time--not even 5 minutes--to reflect. I have begun giving the leaders who attend my seminars a few minutes to reflect and this time tends to yield many surprising positive learnings. Given that the holidays are usually a hectic time for most people, this simple habit could bring some peace and relaxation. And you never know what might happen as you become quiet...
Best wishes for a joyful holiday to everyone. I look forward to hearing about your new joy habits!