Doubles Satisfaction
Practicing Satisfaction
Doubles tennis is my favorite sport to play and watch. At the professional level, it is a very fast moving game which involves strategy, partnership, strong volley skills, and much to my surprise a lot of focus on creating a positive emotional climate.Leander Paes is one of the world’s greatest doubles players, winning ten Grand Slam doubles titles. Recently, I watched him lose a tough third round match playing men’s doubles with Stephenek Raechek at the US Open. What is interesting to watch along with Paes’ quick feet, sharp angles and crisp volleys is what happens on the court between him and his partner.The pattern looks like this: after each point is completed, the pair slaps hands and has a brief 10-15 second chat and then they return back to their respective places on the court. This pattern happens after every point – win or lose - with a constant communication and acknowledgement of effort. There isn’t usually a louder hand slap or fussing over a huge win or a badly played point. There never seems to be negative emotions between the two. Occasionally, you will see one of the pair yell “Come-on” to himself or slap his leg after a mistake. What is amazing to me is that after watching them play for over 2+ hours in extreme 90 degree weather and lose 6-2, 4-6, 6-1, their pattern between the points never waivered.I became curious and started watching more professional doubles matches during the 2014 US Open and noticed that most of all the teams practiced a version of this pattern. It seems to be an industry best practiceresembling to what I would call a satisfaction habit. The slapping of hands after each point – win or lose - is a deliberate physical way of acknowledging satisfaction. Granted tennis is a sport, but taking the time to acknowledge satisfaction is not common in sports or in life overall unless one tends to win. The physical act of the hand-slapping habit appears to keep the team in a positive or at least neutral mood, leading to an emotional feeling of satisfaction versus anger or joy, so they can figure out what to do next. It is critical during any competition or challenging business situation to stay in a positive or neutral state; otherwise, the risk of becoming angry or too elated can cloud the ability to observe and analyze the situation.So, how can you apply this habit in your everyday life? Learning to feel satisfied is the first step for perfectionists or anyone suffering from never feeling good enough. Celebrating satisfaction will create more of a positive emotional climate which research shows will calm down the nervous system and produce a smoother harmonious heart rhythm. Recently I entered my first doubles tournament in 20+ years. Practicing the satisfaction habit helped me stay positive or neutral when I wasn't playing great and helped me avoid moving towards that place of self-doubt - what was I thinking? The result we won! Here is how you can practice this habit in your life. My satisfaction habit looks like the following:
Goal: Set one key goal at work such as write a proposal. Agree on what satisfaction looks like. Sometimes it might be completion but other times it might be progress such as to just finish a paragraph or write for 30 minutes.
Satisfaction: Decide that, like the tennis players, you will acknowledge the completion of a task or the acknowledgement that you tried your best and wasn’t successful or you just didn’t quite finish the task.
Celebration or Calibration: My favorite satisfaction exercise is to take 2-3 minutes to listen to uplifting or playful music and dance. It is important to take some small physical action such as walking, dancing, or listening to your music and walking because the physical action resembles the between the points actions of the tennis players which help to calm them down and create a positive emotional climate. And, if you didn't finish your task, you need to recalibrate and identify one specific reason why you didn't complete the task or it go as well as planned. Like the doubles players who talk between the points, you need to tell yourself that while you usually can do said task, the specific reason of why you did not. Then, do a celebration action regardless and move on. Successful athletes learn from their mistakes and have a short memory.
Repetition: The more often you can do this the better. Remember the tennis players do it after every point – win or lose. Start small – try it once a day and then gradually increase it as you will begin to reap the benefits of being in a positive or neutral emotion. You have a much better chance of winning the second time around or deciding to try something different if you come from a place of positive or neutral emotion.
What are your ideas on satisfaction habit? What does it look like? If you want to learn more about how to develop this habit, stayed tuned for my new upcoming virtual pilot training and coaching program for a new book that I am writing. This pilot will be for 4-6 weeks beginning in January 2015, with an interview in the application process. More details to come!