Getting Comfortable with the Beginner's Mindset

I always thought that being a beginner was a stage that you wanted to pass through as quickly as possible unless you are a child.  Being a beginner has always been a challenge for me because I think about it from the vantage point of being a competitive athlete.  I was a top ranked tennis player in my youth and loved learning new things until I starting winning. Then, I didn’t want to continue to learn because it meant that I would have to take a step back and be a beginner again which meant that I would probably have to lose.  Once you get used to winning, who wants to lose?  Unfortunately for me, my unwillingness to endure a period of losing, limited my career.  I was a top ranked tennis player until age 13/14 and then my ranking fell as a singles player because I was not able to move beyond being my serve and volley game and become a more well-rounded tennis player.  Instead, I became an expert doubles player.  I became obsessed with perfecting what I was good at rather than adopting a beginner’s mindset of staying curious to the process of learning.Old habits die slowly.  Over the past three decades, I have been striving to attain the beginner’s mindset as defined in the book:  Zen Mind, Beginner’s mind by Shunryu Suzuki (this month’s recommended reading),  “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.” Much to my surprise, this mindset of curiosity versus negative judgment was learned while attending the Newfield’s Coach Certification program.  As usual I enrolled in this year-long program with a specific goal in mind:  to gain certification from the International Coaching Federation, now viewed as one of the most highly coveted qualifications.  Given that I am competitive and love to stay on my edge, I wanted to get that degree behind my name!  But what I gained was so much more than a certificate. I have moved from being someone who rushed through being a beginner to one who is actually enjoying it.   And, this new approach to being a beginner is something that can be used in all aspects of life.  My new approach to being a beginner involved dusting off some old pre-and –post tennis match rituals along with some fresh approaches I learned at Newfield.The three steps to getting comfortable with a beginner mindset include:

1. Know the environment that you need to help you perform at your best or what I call your performance zone. I need one-on-one coaching to support my learning and help me manage my fears.  So, whenever I want to move to the next level or try something new, I engage in private or very small group lessons.  My mother taught me this lesson. When I was learning how to play tennis, we were not rich, but my mother felt it would be better to pay for half-hour private lessons than take large group lessons.  The one-on-one coaching provides me with the necessary feedback and push I need to get out of my comfort zone.  For example, recently I was taking a private lesson on how to ski moguls.  As my instructor watched me swoosh around the little bumps, she suggested that it would work better if I would place my skies side-by-side on the top of the mogul and then make a turn.  I looked at her and said, “You want me to stand on top of this small hill facing down an even steeper hill and then make a turn?”  Yikes is all I could think of.  I stiffened up and wasn’t sure this was such a great idea.  But, while I was contemplating the rationale for being crazy enough to want to learn bumps at my age, she said – just follow me!  So, I thought ok I can do that.  But, of course I wimped out and made my own path. Then, we stopped, she looked me in the eyes and said – when I say follow me, I mean stay in my tracks.  Sheepishly I accepted her instructions and proceeded to follow her through the moguls.  Much to my surprise, I actually stood on top of each mogul and went down them like she did.   What I realized is that I need a friendly PUSH in a PRIVATE setting to get me outside of my comfort zone.  Once she PUSHED me through my fear, I was able to enjoy and play in the moguls.  The key is to know what helps you perform at your best and create an environment that allows you to effortlessly (or without too much discomfort) get out of your comfort zone and into your performance zone.
2. Develop pre-post rituals to help you feel more confident.   As a competitive tennis player, I had very specific steps I would implement before getting on to the court. Most competitive and Olympic athletes adopt such practices.  The goal is to help you prepare, get focused, and calm your nerves before a big event.  You want to bring your best self and be present during the match.  My disciplined practice as a tennis player involved me visualizing playing, managing challenges, and winning!  And, between the points, I take a few minutes to move my racquet from the right hand (I am right handed player) to my left hand, visualize the mistake corrected or winning the next point.  As an executive coach, I have adopted a pre-post coaching practice which involves several steps:  review my client’s notes, look a multicolored prism to remind me that my goal is to help each person bring out their beauty/strengths, listen to fun music or just take a few breaths to get me out of my head and into a playful state and the present moment.  After each coaching meeting, I take a few minutes to debrief what went well and what I could do differently next time. I visualize myself doing it better next time and let it go.
3. Do satisfaction dances.  This new practice was taught to me by one of my Newfield coaches.  As a perfectionist, we tend to never feel satisfied. We can never be enough. We don’t understand satisfaction.  One of the key principles of the Newfield program is that learning happens in the body and you need to integrate the mind, body and emotions.  I learned about the emotion – satisfaction.  I defined satisfaction to mean that I would set goals everyday and would give myself a little reward when I would achieve them.  The reward was to dance to one of my favorite songs for two-to-three minutes.  This dancing would begin to tell my mind and emotions – that I have done enough.  And, recent neuroscience research has demonstrated that by taking small physical actions for at least 21 days in a row, you form a new habit.  This new habit has helped me to bypass the flight to negative thinking and instead create new neural connections that help me go positively and eagerly towards my goal of integrating new techniques into my coaching practice.  I am learning how to enjoy being a beginner again!

Upon graduation from the Newfield Coaching program in January 2012, I received a Certificate and a white belt.  So, as I look at my white belt very proudly, I realize that I have unlearned the negative bias I had a year ago in regards to being a beginner.  My view has changed from constantly striving to reach an ideal of perfection to striving for excellence through setting attainable goals that can be celebrated.  This mental shift is more efficient and effective (we perfectionists love these concepts) as a learner because I am more open to experimenting rather than fighting negative thoughts that I can’t do something perfectly after the first or second try.  Instead, I celebrate wins and let go of and learn from losses.  These little successes encourage me to continue going over moguls until I realize that it is not so scary any longer.