Why Enjoying (Not Working At) Skiing is My First Goal of 2012

As January approaches, that heavy feeling of the need to set challenging and meaningful goals takes over. I have been setting goals for myself since I was a little girl.  My childhood goals focused on winning tennis tournaments and improving my serve.  My whole life has been about improving performance, finding and riding my edge.  I am like many women, who have perfectionist tendencies and want to do everything well.  I am not ready to live without a goal, rather I am daring myself to set the goal of enjoying the skiing experience rather than improving my skiing.  Skiing is something that I don’t have to be perfect at. Just good enough to get down the hill safely and enjoy myself.  This is my aim for skiing, is to learn how to play, experience the beauty and wonder of winter, fall down, and not take myself so seriously.  Where else can you do that?I didn’t learn to ski until I was 30 years old. Very old by most skiers standards.  So, at 50, I am feeling like I am just getting going.  I have enough miles on me, that I am feeling confident and loving it!  What really transformed my skiing was going to Mermer Blakeslee’s Fear Clinic at Windham mountain in the Catskills  for women about 7 years ago.  The clinic gave me the technical skills to manage the challenges skiing (in the East especially) presents and to learn to relax and enjoy the sport.  That experience led me to start my own women and skiing clinic that incorporates executive coaching.  My goal was to help business women learn how to playfully get out of their comfort zones along with improving their skiing.  My aim is to provide an experience that teaches women a new way of thinking about taking risks or improving performance in life.  I want them to experience a playful and supportive environment that leads to improved performance without the fist in the back and heaviness most of perfectionist types assume is necessary to stay on our edge.I discovered the teachers for my women-only ski program on a random vacation trip to Aspen in 2005.  I was introduced to the DIVAs. They are a group of ski instructors and synchronized ski racers.  Yes Ski Divas. My face lit up.  I have secretly always wanted to be a ski DIVA.  Dreams of skiing like a pro, dressing in pink, strutting my by hard body with the skies thrown over my shoulders, and gorgeous men swooning over me… I thought this is just what stressed-out businesswomen in New York City need!DIVA was originally used to describe opera stars; the word is now commonly applied to female performers in virtually any medium.  This woman is usually perceived as bitchy or self-absorbed, which in some cases they are. But, my new definition focuses on redefining a Diva to a woman who has self-confidence, self-respect, and swagger. She knows who she is and exactly where she is going. Her style and attitude are on point even when she is not trying. People typically gravitate to her because they respect her swagger.  The goal in this program is to help women gain insights about themselves and practice in exploring the emotions of playfulness and confidence.  This involves looking at your views of the world, your body language, how you talk, and how you ski.  You leave this program more playful, proficient in your skiing, and walking with a swagger.  Yes you can find your edge and be playful at the same time.My favorite memory is from my first DIVA program.  A successful business woman and I who are both intermediate skiers were working on our technique. We were getting nowhere. The snow was deep and we were getting frustrated.  Then, our Ski DIVA instructor told us to raise our poles above our heads and sing while skiing and just feel the snow.  Feel the snow. Breathe. And, sing!  Well needless to say, people on the slopes near us, starting to give us room. They spread out in a hurry! Then, much to our amazement, we started to ski better. We relaxed, giggled, and the skies seemed to move effortlessly. Who knew?I realize that it doesn’t seem practical to take off five days to go off and ski with the DIVAS in Aspen.  Recently, I attended a networking event for business women in NYC, and left frustrated and depressed.  I was trying to entice some successful middle-aged women to join my Aspen ski trip for women in February 2012.  As I spoke with the women and asked them if they were interested, here are the replies I heard:

• “I only ski with my family.”
• “I hurt my (knee, back, foot…), and gave up skiing…”
• “It’s cold!”
• “I would like to learn about plastic surgery or Botox instead….”

Now that I have turned 50, women’s priorities seemed to have changed.  I thought, what is wrong with me? Why am I still skiing at 50?  To stay young, playful, and on my game.  What makes us old?  Being rigid, stuck in the same habits.  Lack of play and laughter.What strikes me about these women’s replies to going on a women-only ski trip is that most successful male skiers will find a way to go skiing without their wives with NO GUILT.  But can women do that?  Unfortunately, women struggle with this as we want to be perfect and please others.  So, if you are setting goals for 2012 and that heavy feeling is sinking in….  Do something BOLD – set a goal to do things that are playful, silly, and frivolous!  Select activities that will get you out of your comfort zone, develop your swagger, and put a smile on your face.